Infatuation or love???

The two magical words which amuses me...

Infatuation is the feeling we get in our school days they say. Just like some guy for that particular period and its not love nor lust. But infatuation comes all throughout our life. I think whenever i like some guy its only infatuation and not love.

I don't understand how people realize its love seeing a person and they are their soul mate and will marry only that person. So many of my friends are in a relationship. Also they have not seen so many guys or girls in their life... how could they come to the conclusion she is the one or he is the one for them??? what if they encounter someone better person in future???

If i like some guy it will take time for me to understand why i like that person. Either he is good looking or good flirt or a intellectual person. I don't understand what love is??? I have never felt it... i end up thinking its just an infatuation...Am i missing something in it???

So please tell me, how to identify its love???

Back To Blogging !!!

Hi everybody, I have really taken a long time to come back to my blog. After 8-month idleness in Chennai, I had a hectic life in Ahmedabad for 3 months. Now I'm successfully benched in Bangalore.

Life teaches lessons to each one, so does it did to me. I was desperate to get out of my home during those 8 months, but when I was away from home leading a hectic and stressful life facing failures. I felt lonely and started missing my home. I started missing my mom a lot. I messed up few tests during my training, so ended up getting my second option Bangalore and not first option Chennai :(

When I was desperate enough to come back to Chennai , but i was not able to come back . Now life in Bangalore is not so bad, but still it isn't equivalent to staying at home. Missing my parents, home food, my unlimited broadband connection, my activa etc....

Hereafter I will be regularly blogging.

p.s : Soon, I will update you more about my Bangalore life :)

Happy days :)

At last i got sometime to write :) I'm as usual too busy chatting and in twitter these days... I hardly have time to read blogs. This month is so much happening for me. I got my passport after struggle of 8 months. My long awaited date of joining also came :) All are happy in home.

Past few months i was ranting about me sitting idle in home and not doing anything constructively. But now when i think about past 8 months, i feel i have really learnt a lot. I was the one little girl who always wanted her parent's help in getting something. My parents where too busy that they didn't had time to spare with me. I went alone everywhere to get my passport. I was short of one proof so i went to commissioner office to get a letter from deputy commissioner , who happens to be my friend's mom. I have now started to act individually without any ones help. So i have learnt to me individual. At times I'm too proud of myself :P I going alone to training along with my parents and my parents are not accompanying me :) At last i feel that my parents want me to face this world all alone , learn more about it.
Day before doj came where like hell , but still i managed to have fun and now after doj mail came its heaven, at last i came to know my destiny and future but I'm not able to have fun. Its the time to break all my laziness, internet addiction and a lot more. I'm still in a mixed emotion regarding my training :( :) :P Shopping is almost over. I'm getting prepared myself mentally for training these days.
Another happy news is my bro gonna come to India soon. I'm so excited about it. I have been missing him terribly. I just hope he comes before my joining.
So this is what happening in my life right now. Sorry to all my blog buddies for not able to be active and comment for their posts. I will be back blogging form soon. I'm forcing my mom to start a Tamil blog soon. She will be launching it quite soon.
This year has been treating me so well i hope this continues.

P.S: 25 days to go :)

In peace :D

Off from blog so many days... No mood to write any post... At last all my friends started asking me why i dint update anything for these many days... So i thought let me scribble something today... I have even got a tag to do... I thought not to start with a tag after a long break...
I have been attending all the marriages in my relation circle and everyone asking me what u doing??? As usual vetti thaan irrukkane , waiting to join my company i have been placed...
Next question ohh are they going to call u to join them??? (lil , angrily) yeah they gonna call me (in mind why the hell this aunt torturing me... she has one bro vothavakarai paiyan doing nothing have many arrears she asking questions to me :P)

Nowadays i'm enjoying each and every moment :) stopped worrying about my joining... I'm have been practicing patience and peace... My friends who know me personally will be wondering that me and peace... ya i am seriously in peace rejuvenating myself... I got used all this questions from my relations,cousins and even from my servant maid... I am just having only one month still to enjoy in home in January i am obviously gonna kicked out of my home... So no worry, no tension im always chilling...

Watched all good and crappy movies in home... Went for dostana with my friends to sathyam... Even my friend who don't know hindi also enjoyed the movie... I have got a new time pass which is very much interesting than my twitter and facebook... It is same old orkut , but something new which i am into last 2 weeks is chatting in orkut communities where u can get unlimited mokkais ,fun , also you meet up many vetti people like me... I have really got many friends these communities :) So if anybody is really very much bored just go to any good community have fun chatting :)

In all this midst few of my friends call me and get counseling from me on how to be calm, patient and happy... I have been showing peace path to many of them... I feel so proud :) I feel like i am an saint :P Nowadays i am coming across very good funny humorous blogs... Thanks to m who invited to one of his group blog where each and every post is ROFL,LOL... At last after struggling 7 long months i have learn the art being peaceful and patient :D

p.s : Those who also want to practice this can get help from me ;) :P

worst month ever

This month is the worst month i have ever come across in my life... Starting of this month my maternal granny expired... After that on second week of the month , my friend's grandpa got expired... In third week my dad's periyama expired... Also heard one of another friend's grandpa expired.... What a deathly month it is????
But people who have expired were in their 80's and 90's , suddenly everybody i know getting expired is something unbearable... I was chatting with my dad about this yesterday, he said its their age factor we can't do anything... Also added up , that my grandma and his periyama have really lived a long life and in future life span of the individuals will be very less...
Here goes the superstitious stuffs or something my family follow strictly is theetu when somebody in our family expires... For my granny it was only 3 days for us since she was my maternal relation... Coming my dad's periyama we have it for 10 days along with that no festivals should be celebrated for one year by us... I may agree for mourning their death for 3 or 10 days is ok, but this one year non celebration is really bugging me big time...
For last 3 yrs someone or else in my dad's family have been dying whom even my dad doesn't know and we are forced non celebrate it... Last 3 years i was not questioning much about these stuffs to my parents, but thus time asked why are following stuffs like this??? My mom answered there is no explanation why we are doing like this , but what we are is good for our family.... Is any non celebration is good for the family and family members...??
Coming to this theetu stuff its supposed to kept for 10 days if any relations in my dad side is expired... Then here comes a question its to be kept for 1st and 2nd link of relations right??? In my dad side they follow this for 4th and 5th link relations... This really sucks big time... I remember last time we kept this for 4th link relation whom even my dad don't know but since my periyapa ordered us to do so...
My question is if somebody expires the mourning for them for few minutes and praying for their soul to rest in peace is more than enough, but why people are following like these theetu stuffs and non celebrations...???? Will this thing get stopped with me parents or even my brother and i have to follow this???

p.s: This time no Diwali... Also actually nobody in a mood to celebrate it too...
I'm done with my blogger block at last :)

Ups and downs

I think my blogger's block is over now :) Last weekdays really been mixed with too many ups and downs of my emotions... We had our class girls get together , met all my friends , had lunch there and played Uno cards ( I don't know to play uno before that day :P ) Had fun on that day... Totally enjoyed and i was speaking too much no that day , didn't allow any others to speak :D Too much of loneliness and depression made me speak more on that day....

There was a cold war going war going between me and my mom... Yesterday both got in to quarrel... My mom feels im very discipline less :( She wants me to get up early daily , so there it got started yesterday... Today we both patched up :D Started our Navarathri shopping :) My mom bought me new slippers today :) My dad feels when me and mom gel together and go out
for shopping ,we are spending a lot of money :P

After 2 years this time golu in home.. So I have planned some ideas for park.. Lets see how its going to work :) Tomorrow going to get golu gift... My mom always goes different design of plates or boxes... This time I asked her to think something more innovative for giving gift...
Everyday some bad news in news paper... My parents are scared a lot about my joining... Im still waiting for my date of joining... Deemed universities are being called before us , i feel i would have studied in a deemed university itself with so much ease... Ennamo po kannu katiya apparam surya namaskaram :( No value for dot 2 college students in the job market... sigh...

Really few days getting bored a lot... Im just going mad day by day... People who i trusted turned to be unfaithful and dishonest to me... Im getting see real faces of my friends nowadays... I am not able to concentrate in my preparation too... One day im studying in a week... I have to speed up to finish the course...

This is what happening in my life these days :) Everyday im getting different emotional feeling.. It just like a roller coaster... Just leading the life as it goes... Its enough for today :P

p.s: wait for my next post on golu filled with pictures :)
V1000 songs are good :)

Loneliness

In my childhood I always wanted to be the only kid in the home... I used to tell my mom that atleast in next janmaam have me as your only kid , don't want anna... Whenever I am with him , we both end up fighting for everything... So at a point of life everybody loves to be alone and enjoy the loneliness...
During the initial days I loved my loneliness... I always wanted to alone, calm and silent away from all... Just me and me alone... This is the reason that I even don't had many friends during my school days and college life... But the same loneliness is sucking now for me which was a bliss for me few days before... Now i feel i want minimum 10 people in my home... There should be always more noise, chit chatting , laughing , fun and masti in my home...

p.s: Loneliness can make people go mad.....

Saturated Life !!!

Most pathetic life is being in home jobless waiting for a company to call. The most horrible period I say. Your parents say you not to sit idle in home. Your seniors and friends say enjoy the holidays. Your siblings will say you are worth for nothing. All the relatives will ask you whether you want a job with their reference in a company.


All I want to tell them all is I am having a job in my hand. I am happy with that. I can wait until they call me. But how long I can wait?? 6 months or 7 months??? Initially first few months will be going fine. Watching TV, online, messaging, chatting with friends in phone for hours together, eating and sleeping.How many days these can be fun??? Parents start pampering you to try for some other companies and stop watching movies, stop speaking hours together in phone and at last they tell me try to limit your expenditures even though you are not able to earn now.They started losing interest in me. For past two months I am trying get a passport for me. I have only ration card as my proof. But that's not enough to get a passport. All I wanted is a bank account. When I said my friends that I don't have a back account , voters id and License to apply for passport.


In 21 yrs I have been riding vehicle without license for 8 yrs. I wonder for not having a bank account for myself. Whenever I wanted money dad used to give me. All my friends asked me how come you have been like this without any proof?? I was not able to answer them too.After too much pleading dad I got a bank account finally. Now I have to apply for my passport. When you’re in such a state without an identity and idle in home everything becomes so impossible for us. Even it may be getting passport or a license.


After leading a systematic life going to school properly and then to college sincerely and really being nerd for 6yrs, it’s all tough for me to lead a life like this. I am bored being bore. Nobody can understand this state of life than a friend. But again coming to friends they won't there with you after college life. Very few will be in contact with you. Even those few are out of station or busy in their work. The loneliness, being idle, advices from others whomever we meet or speak all this really sucks.I thought life after college will be so cool, no more studies. I can live my life. But I was totally wrong. All finishing your studies and got a job in hand and sitting like couch potato in home is more sucking. The transition period from student to an employee is not as easy.Whatever we do parents think it’s not good. Nobody to share what we feel. No friends listen to us. Really tough after being studious kinds for these many years. I feel I have not enjoyed the school and college to the fullest. All I have to enjoy my life now before joining a company. But your parents don't allow you to enjoy. I feel the generation gap with them now.


Most important thing is the sleeplessness. I am really not able to sleep before 1 or 2 am. Even if I try to sleep I am not able to sleep thinking about my state life. End up sleeping late at night. Getting up late morning and daily scolding from mom. Skip the breakfast. I am totally spoiling my health doing like this.In this period of life one can't live without mobile phone, pc, internet connection and games. I have been trying to make my parents understand my situation. But they feel i am wasting my life. Every month when your mobile validity gets over and the time you have to ask them for money and even for hanging out with friends.

Nothing so happening. All I live a virtual life nowadays trying to be active in that. This life is more difficult to lead for a person like me who don't even have a best friend to share. So, i am sharing it here.


p.s : feeling good after ranting this much :)