Infatuation or love???

The two magical words which amuses me...

Infatuation is the feeling we get in our school days they say. Just like some guy for that particular period and its not love nor lust. But infatuation comes all throughout our life. I think whenever i like some guy its only infatuation and not love.

I don't understand how people realize its love seeing a person and they are their soul mate and will marry only that person. So many of my friends are in a relationship. Also they have not seen so many guys or girls in their life... how could they come to the conclusion she is the one or he is the one for them??? what if they encounter someone better person in future???

If i like some guy it will take time for me to understand why i like that person. Either he is good looking or good flirt or a intellectual person. I don't understand what love is??? I have never felt it... i end up thinking its just an infatuation...Am i missing something in it???

So please tell me, how to identify its love???

It's for you dear :)

Yesterday was my friend P's birthday. I totally forgot about that. Today when i was in traffic just waiting green signal i remembered i missed her birthday. I messaged to her mobile , still no response from her. I think she might me be really upset with me for not remembering her bday. Funny thing is she even chatted with me in gtalk that time too it didn't come to my mind. So im really sorry baby i missed your birthday...
happy birthday to you...
happy birthday to my dear p...
may god bless you dear...
Next time may be i will be the first one to wish you. Don't think i forgot you after our college is over. Please reply me after reading this dear :)
p.s: please forgive me dear...

20th aug

Day was very good.
My schoolmate MM spoke to me for an hour. It was really nice speaking to her.
I saw God tussi Great ho today. I liked the movie.
Today M chatted well it went beyond normal 4 line chat sections :)
My friend got selected for an interview in a big company. I am very happy for him. All the best SS :)
My mom didn't scold me much today.
Dad and i had a good conversation during dinner.
Yesterday saw Singh is Kinng i liked that movie too. Akki is a hit machine now. Beated SRK in boxoffice.
India won the cricket match against SL. First time it was not in headlines. Because India got one more Olympic medal Sushil kumar got Bronze medal in Free Wrestling. Also Vijayendra in semi finals in boxing. So another medal assured for India. It was really a good day for India in Olympics today.
Today i took my apti book and practiced for 30 mins. Also went through some C problems.

p.s: M is a very good guy.. He had a starting problem i think :)

Making friends: Easy or tough??

Many times in our journey of life we feel like being friend with some people whom we see. It feels like it would be nice if he/she is our friend. During my school days I get friends very easily. Not even I had the hesitation to go and speak to them during school days. In my school nobody bully you when you speak with a guy. Everybody's mind was pretty good. So last time I think I have been myself speaking with the people I like and being friend to them was in school days. It ended up there itself.

After coming to college it was totally different. Never a guy would come and speak with a girl. Even if a guy gathers all his courage and speaks with a girl then he is dead. From the teasing and bullying stuffs he gets. Even some of the girls too never go and speak with guys. I have been in coed in my schooling. So I just don't feel any different between genders. I just treat them all equally. During my first year of college one guy K would chat with my hours together in YM. I asked him why you don’t speak freely in class with me. Also you don't even look at me when I am in the class. He gave the same bullshit reason that all his friends would be teasing him.

I really don't mind speaking with any guy in my class. Even though they are scared to speak with girls I still try to speak with my class guys during lab hours. But still everybody started thinking bad about me that I am behind every tom, dick and harry. So from that day I reduced speaking with all. For just two year of college life was like this. After that everybody mingled well. During college days I really liked one mech guy R. Every time I see him in Auditorium or in canteen I feel like it would be nice if be a friend of him. As you know how my buddies would think of me when I go and speak to me. Even I had the hesitation how would that guy think of me when I go and speak to him. So I really didn't try being friend with anybody other than my class guys.

At my 3rd year of college my bro introduced me to this blog sphere. I read really a lot of blogs. At times I feel how it would be if be his friend. I search the blog guys and girls in orkut and twitter just try to know about them. If some people are revealing their name I would like to find out their real name. It would be quite funny and interesting. You may now I think I am so jobless that I am doing these things. I am not jobless it’s just a curiosity that I want to know them. After few months I thought why can't I add up some of my favorite bloggers in my gtalk and chat with them.

I added two of them M and G. When I added them I was so happy that I can chat with my favorite bloggers. I introduced myself to M first we really had chatted for some 20 minutes. I should reply we I ask him something. Never ask anything himself. To say I felt that he was not at all interested in being friend with me and knowing about me. After first day other days went more pathetically,
me: hi
M: hey
me: Good morning :) What u doing??
M: just now got up. I am brushing.
me: k carry on...
Its ends here
next time
me: hii(many i’s in a hi then they r more excited)
M: (after 5 mins) yeah
me: busy??
M: im cooking / eating/ etc
me: k carry on
it ends here. So the chat never goes beyond that.
With G it was worse.
me: hiii
G: Do I know u?
me: No you don’t know me. I know u. I follow your blog.
G: Oh like that.
me: s
ends here no reply.

Next time
me: hiiii
G: (No reply)
I assume he is very busy.

From all I want to know is "are they really not interested in chatting with some stranger?? Or They have starting problem to chat with someone?? I end up thinking they are not as friendly as me. Or they think its waste of time chatting with someone else..?? May be they even think why I am disturbing them??"When I said this to one of my very good friend he replied me telling "whatz your problem dear?? Just fuck off with those guys.. Why you want to speak with those who are not at all interested in chatting with you?" I agree with whatever he said. But still wanted to know why I can't be their friend. I am regretting now for adding them in my gtalk. At last to a conclusion they think I don't deserve to be their friend.

p.s: I think they are not friendly as me... I am really super cool ;)